Everyone can speak, but what are the skills? This question sounds very simple, but in fact it is very learned.
To express the same meaning, some people’s words sound more comfortable and acceptable, while others sound the opposite. These are all related to our talking and listening skills.
British writer Rosen has made a special study on this, hoping to sum up some skills from it so as to help people improve their communication skills and interpersonal relationships.
Having first-class conversation skills can be used everywhere. Rosen and two other authors Eddie and Peter have jointly written a new book called The Talking Revolution.
They summed up seven conversation skills to teach people how to master better conversation.
Learn to understand others first
Many of us have this experience: when talking to people, it is difficult to change from ” transmission mode” to ” reception mode”, and that is the problem.
Covey, author of the book ” Seven Habits of Highly Effective People,” said, ” We should understand others before seeking to be understood”, which means listening well first.
Before you begin to express your opinions or criticize other people’s opinions, it is important to thoroughly understand their thoughts and fully understand what they say.
Let others know that you understand him
Once you understand each other’s opinions, show them that you have heard them and understand their intentions.
You can use the words ” exactly” or ” what you said is absolutely clear” to make the speaker understand that you absolutely understand the other person’s meaning.
Once the speaker knows that you do understand what they mean, you can give them some advice or challenge what they say or point of view. But don’t say it before somebody else has finished speaking.
If the other party knows that you have given him/her enough respect, listening and understanding, you will establish a connection and further substantive communication will be much easier.
Join hands to find a solution
Eddie and Peter, the other two authors of The Conversation Revolution, used the word ” creative dialogue” because it can help people find new ideas and new understandings.
If you can listen to others carefully, they will know that you really understand. It can sometimes inspire new ideas. This is the result of mutual listening and feedback, not the solution that a single person can come up with.
Moreover, if you tell the person you are talking to that you can understand, this will allow the person you are talking to to open up their hearts, communicate freely and freely, and also allow the person you are talking to to to better discuss their ideas.
As a result, you may work together to find a solution that is unlikely to exist before.
Check your bad habits
Everyone has his own habit of speaking, sometimes he doesn’t even know it.
For example, you may not pay attention to others when they are talking, or you may talk too much for people to get involved.
Check if you have similar habits, and if so, see if you can improve them.
Also, focus on listening and understanding others.
Don’t aim at criticizing others
Some people listen to others, but they do so in order to criticize others better.
This phenomenon is more common in the world political arena. Politicians on opposite sides attack each other and it is difficult to resolve their differences.
To understand each other, it is best not to use listening as a weapon to attack each other.
Eddie and Peter also did an experiment: let two people sit together and let them quickly find a topic on which both sides have differences.
Then, they asked one of them to listen carefully to the other’s views and feelings.
This can make these people realize how difficult it is to have someone listen to you carefully.
You can take the initiative to practice this skill with your friends, and be prepared for future conflicts and disagreements.
Find the right channel for communication
Face-to-face communication should be the best form.
Telephone communication lacks the opportunity of face-to-face observation and relies solely on voice to convey information.
Text message communication, only words, not even voice.
If anonymous social media is used for communication, the communication channel will be narrower and misunderstanding will easily occur, even worse.
Therefore, face-to-face communication should be chosen as much as possible.
At the same time, it is very important to understand the advantages and disadvantages of each communication mode.