When it comes to how men and women behave in love, everyone has a set of opinions-usually about how different the sexes are. But what does scientific research say about what men and women actually do in romantic relationships?
In fact, the sexes are more similar than we thought, and many of the empirical claims don’t make sense. Next, let’s analyze the six common mistakes:
Women are more romantic than men?
Given that most romance novels and rom-coms are aimed at women, it may be a little hard to believe.
But in fact, men have more romantic feelings about love than women.
One of the most popular ways to measure romanticism is the Romantic belief Scale, which asks people to rate how much they agree with a range of Beliefs, such as “I have only one true love” and “if I love someone, I can overcome any obstacles to be with them.”
The study found that men generally score higher than women.
In addition, men are more likely than women to believe in love at first sight.
Men are the only ones who pay attention to appearance in love？
There is some truth to this, as many studies have shown that men value appearance more than women when asked what they focus on in choosing a mate.
However, further analysis of these data will find that men and women are in fact “people who only pay attention to appearance in love,” but men pay a little more attention to appearance than women.
In a far-reaching study, men and women ranked a range of traits in a potential partner. On average, men rated appearance as fourth, while women ranked it sixth, so both sexes focused on their partner’s appearance. But it’s not the most important thing.
However, these figures only reflect what men and women say they care about. In fact, what kind of men and women would they choose to date?
In a classic interpersonal attraction experiment, college students were randomly paired to date, and it was found that the physical appearance of both men and women was the main factor in determining whether they would date again.
In a more recent experiment, researchers looked at college students’ preferences in speed dating. Before taking part in the activity, the students evaluated the effect of different characteristics on the choice of a mate, and the results showed a predictable gender difference-women were less concerned about appearance than men.
But when the researchers looked at what they actually chose in their activities, the gender difference disappeared, and both men and women chose more attractive partners.
As a result, both men and women prefer good looks, while men value appearance only slightly more than women. Studies of dating choices suggest that both sexes are obsessed with looks.
Women are not interested in casual sex?
Much of the early research on sexual partners between men and women supports this claim. However, while men generally prefer and are more receptive to casual sex than women, women’s interest in it is underestimated.
There are two reasons. First, women admit that their preference for casual sex is not in line with current social and moral standards. As a result, many researchers have speculated that men exaggerate the number of sexual partners while women hide something when they are asked about the number of partners they have sex with. So on the face of it, men seem to have more sex partners than men.
In one study, participants were connected to a fake lie detector and asked about their sexual history. Participants who were not connected to the polygraph gave a more socially desirable result, which was that men had more sex partners than women.
However, women reported slightly more sexual partners than men for those worried about the detection of lying devices.
Women must choose to have casual sex when the time is right, not because they are not interested, but because they are more picky about their sexual partners.
Terry Conley (Terri Conley) studies the effects of contextual factors on women’s willingness to engage in casual sexual behavior. She asked subjects to imagine fictional situations, such as having a celebrity or a legendary bedtime friend who wanted to have sex with him or her, only to find that women were as likely to accept invitations as men.
She also asked people about their actual history of casual sex, and found that, consistent with previous studies, women were more likely to say no than men.
However, whether women will accept the invitation or not depends largely on their subjective perception of male sexual skills. As in hypothetical situations, women are willing to spend time with someone else-as long as that person is worth it.
The most famous experiment, which claimed that women were not interested in casual sex, was set up in which a woman was invited by a stranger to have a one-night stand.
But research has found that one-night stands are actually the least common form of casual sex, while the more common casual partners are often casual dates, friends or exes.
Are there essential differences between men and women in terms of their performance and attitude towards love?
This statement has a long history in popular culture. In “Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus,” John Gray (John Gray) argues that men and women are far apart from each other as if they were from different planets.
In fact, the differences between the sexes are small in most respects, and the differences between individuals are more diverse than those between men and women.
The fact that gender differences are “statistically significant” does not mean that they are significant, but simply that on average, they are reliable.
For example, on average, men are taller than women, but there are many men and women of the same height, and many women are even taller than men. Most of the personality differences between men and women are much smaller than the differences in height between the sexes.
In fact, the needs of both sexes in romantic relationships are very similar, for example, both said that friendly, funny personality and intelligence are the three most important mate selection factors.
When dealing with relationships with partners, focusing solely on gender differences often leads to oversimplification and exaggeration, which can only lead to a decrease in understanding between partners.
The way men and women resolve conflict is very different?
Most studies suggest that there is no significant difference in the way men and women resolve romantic conflicts.
There is, however, some truth to this, as some couples settle into a vicious cycle of “you tell me to hide”, in which one partner raises questions and insists on a theory, while the other avoids an argument.
The harder the demanding side, the more the other side shied away, making the former more determined to speak out, and ultimately causing discomfort on both sides-in which case, the person making the request was usually a woman.
Even such exceptions, however, are more likely to be due to power relations between the parties than to differences between the sexes.
In some studies, couples are asked to discuss a problem in their relationship, sometimes the one that the woman wants to change, and sometimes the other way round. The researchers found that the role of demanding or retreating does not depend on gender, but on which partner wants to change.
When the subject of discussion is what the woman wants to change, she is more likely to be called the demanding party, and if the issue is what the man wants to change, the roles are reversed.
So why are there such consistent gender differences in previous studies?
This is because in a relationship, the person who wants to change is usually the weaker party, while the other party is more inclined to maintain the status quo. In our society, men are traditionally more powerful than women, so women are usually the ones who want change in a relationship.
Of course, that dynamic is changing. But even in situations of imbalance of power, women ask for discussion because they want to change, not because they resolve conflicts in a different way from men.
Domestic violence perpetrators are always men?
When it comes to domestic violence victims, people often think of women in their first reactions.
It is true that female victims of domestic violence are often worse victims than men, and it is true that male victims of domestic violence are more frequent and severe. However, men also often fall victim to domestic violence.
A recent survey of British adults found that 40% of victims of domestic violence are men . A us national survey found that 12.1 per cent of women and 11.3 per cent of men report domestic violence against their partners in the past year.
Other studies have shown that women are as likely as men to use violence.
Since men are not likely to be victims of domestic violence in the stereotypical image, and men are concerned about the stigma of candor, many men choose to hide or not seek help.
However, men are vulnerable to physical abuse, even if they are less harmful.
The notion that dealing with romantic relationships according to gender stereotypes is harmful and unhelpful is completely false and, if true, wildly exaggerated.
We’re all unique people, and these myths don’t make sense when it comes to solving specific problems in our relationships.